Loneliness

     My jazz concert husband experience leads me to write about a different kind of loneliness. In my experience there is loneliness born of fear, self-doubt,  overwhelm and society-induced expectations. But then there is a different kind of loneliness that aches and echoes from great beauty and joy, that natural inclination to share the beauty, make love about it, celebrate it. This is a loneliness that derives from the passionate desire to share laughter and life most precious.

     Sometimes, I feel so happy that I start to be this kind of lonely. I feel so rich, that I don’t know what to do with myself.  I’ve learned the hard way that I musn’t seek another during these times or assume a Manguin is perceptive enough or willing to see and celebrate with me (assuming is a great way to get into trouble). Rather, I’ve learned that I must create when I’m in agony from being so full of bliss. A poem. A painting. A cake. Something. Anything.

Excerpt from "A Woman's Mind Half Naked" by Jennifer Ann Gordon, Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.